Man Crush

Jack Bauer

Man crush – A heterosexual man admiring another man to an extreme in a non-romantic or sexual way.

You might have a man crush if you are a man and catch yourself thinking these things about another man:

“That guy is awesome.”

“I want to hang out with that guy.”

“I want to be that guy.”

“I want to build a statue of that guy on my front lawn.”

“I want to murder him so I can wear his skin like a suit.” (if your man crushery has gotten this bad, you may need to seek some professional help. Ah, who am I kidding? You're probably fine.)

Jack Bauer is fictional. I am aware of that.

I am also aware that Jack Bauer is arguably the most badass character to grace the small screen. How could I not have a man crush on him?

You can’t be badass without some controversy, though, and Jack’s frequent use of torture to obtain information in the series has come under much scrutiny. In season seven, he provides some insight into his view of torture:
“I see fifteen people held hostage on a bus, and everything else goes out the window. I will do whatever it takes to save them, and I mean whatever it takes. ... Laws were written by much smarter men than me. And in the end, these laws have to be more important than the 15 people on the bus. I know that's right. In my mind, I know that's right. I just don't think my heart could ever have lived with it.”

As the seasons of 24 progressed, Jack only picked up more and more emotional baggage. With the people he loved and were close to continually targeted and often killed, he became more and more isolated and distant. It also made him more dangerous, in the nothing-to-lose kind of way.

In the seventh episode of season eight, Jack gets accidentally stabbed by his partner, Renee Walker. As the bad guys run in, Jack instinctively yanks the knife out of his chest and throws it across the room, nailing the bad guy right in the throat. It was at that point that I smiled to myself and thought Okay, now the season has started. Because a season of 24 hasn’t officially started until Jack Bauer busts out some badassery.

The evidence after the jump (click Read More below)

Bloggity Blog

Photo-Op with Helo and Chief


Photo-op with Tahmoh Penikett and Aaron Douglas of Battlestar Galactica. Taken at the Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo on April 24th, 2010.

Music Video Hall of Fame

OK Go - Here It Goes Again


I think everyone's seen this a million times but the choreography is pretty impressive. I wonder how many takes it took to get this in one shot?

Late to the Party

The Cure

For a long time, I never understood the reference when Adam Sandler said “Okay, I just want to warn you that when I wrote this song I was listening to The Cure a lot” before singing “Somebody Kill Me” in The Wedding Singer. Now I do. I wouldn’t be surprised if I learned that The Cure albums used to come with a razorblade and a suicide note template. Robert Smith whines and whines and whines on every song. I think I just found myself a new coaster for my coffee table. Awful.

Personal Favourites

If I had to pick, I’d say “Boys Don’t Cry” and “Friday I’m In Love”

Music Video Hall of Fame

Sonseed - Jesus is a Friend of Mine


The funniest things about this video have nothing to do with Jesus. Zap!

Showdown

The Movie vs. The Book: Is the Book Always Better?

When someone is asked what they thought of a movie adapted from a book that they've read, how often do they say "The book was better"? For me, I hear it quite a bit (I even say it myself sometimes). I certainly hear it more frequently than "It was better than the book". Why is that? Is it because books are written to be books and will always lose something in translation to the big screen? Is it because those who have read the book first already have their own perfect film adaptation in their head, complete with their own perfect cast? In the cases where the movie actually is better than the book, why? Is it due to the screenwriter? The actors? The director? Was the book originally imagined as a film but written as a novel instead? A screenplay disguised as a novel? Of course, the better the book is, the harder it is to adapt.

Does it make a difference if you read the book after seeing the film? This is not as common due to most people's reasoning of "I've seen the movie, why read the book?". Does already having the film's actors and setting visualized as you read remove that personal imagining you would have had if you'd read the book first, thereby reducing the risk of disappointment?

Let's take a look at a few examples after the jump. Click "Read More" below.

Music Video Hall of Fame

The White Stripes - Fell in Love With a Girl


It's awesome because it's all Lego. And it probably took approximately a billion years to make.

Bloggity Blog

M&M Meat Shops Charity BBQ Day for Crohn's and Colitis

On Saturday, May 8th, visit your local M&M Meat Shop to support Crohn's and Colitis research. Volunteers will be grilling hot dogs and hamburgers in exchange for a donation.

What you get: A hot dog or hamburger, a bag of chips and a drink for a minimum donation of $2.50.

Official site

All proceeds go to the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of Canada.

What is Crohn's and Colitis?

Music Video Hall of Fame

Basement Jaxx - Where's Your Head At?

Nostalgia

Space Jam Soundtrack
Lightning Strikes, The Court Lights Get Dim

I was ten years old when Space Jam came out and like every other kid who liked basketball and movies at that age, I liked it. It wasn't my favorite movie ever, but it had Michael Jordan and it had Bugs Bunny. How could you go wrong? It even had Newman in it, but I didn't know or care about that in 1996.

I watched it again when I was fifteen. Throughout the whole movie, the only thing I could think was Why the hell didn't Michael Jordan win a frickin' Oscar for this? His performance is inspired! It's gritty, honest...okay, seriously, it's an abomination. A piece of plywood would have shown more acting ability than that. Here's the worst part: He was playing himself! He barely had to act at all! I'll throw him a small bone and say it probably wasn't easy talking to animated characters that aren't there. I guess he wasn't really there to act, just to be Michael Jordan. I'm sure if they ever make a sequel, they'll get Daniel Day-Lewis in the lead role. He'd drink the Monstars' milkshakes.

Movie aside, the soundtrack has become an all-time favorite for me. Every few years I revisit it, expecting to like it less than before and every time it surprises me. Maybe it's just nostalgia. Maybe it's because it was one of the first CDs I ever bought. Maybe it's just one of those things that I like because it reminds me of my childhood. Or maybe, just maybe, it's actually a pretty good album. Of course, their are definitely some garbage songs but the good ones more than make up for it.

Click "Read More" to see a track-by-track review.

Music Video Hall of Fame

The Avalanches - Frontier Psychiatrist

One of the weirdest I've ever seen.

TV

Battlestar Galactica Series Review
Rage Against the Machines

You'd be hard pressed to find a TV show with a name that sounds geekier than Battlestar Galactica. Yet, despite what it may appear to be, it is actually a show about political and social issues disguised as a science-fiction geekfest. It also boasts a large cast of characters who all have more than their share of demons. Chris Dahlen of the AV Club said it best: "People watch 24 to see Jack Bauer torture the bad guys; I watch Battlestar Galactica to see the characters torture themselves."

So instead of actually breaking down the entire Battlestar Galactica series (this should get you started on some of the themes), I'm going to do something different. The following is all based on having seen the entire series.

After the jump, take a look at the "Who Deserves the Most Pity" March Madness-style bracket as well as some unlikely ideas for TV and film spin-offs. SPOILER ALERT

Music Video Hall of Fame

Fatboy Slim - Weapon of Choice


Probably my favorite music video of all-time.

May I Recommend

Cookies By George

When Bruce Banner gets angry, he turns into THIS.

When I visit Cookies by George, I turn into THIS.

If you can, try and time it so you get a cookie (or six) from a batch right out of the oven.

Official Site

Books

Apocalypse Now: Five Apocalyptic Novels Worth Reading

I recently read The Stand by Stephen King. Upon finishing it, I began to think about other apocalyptic or post-apocalyptic novels I'd read in the past year or two and I realized I'd read some really good ones. The most common variations are probably the nuclear holocaust and pandemic subgenres. If you are easily hooked on hypothetical futures, doomsday plots or just a plain old What if...?, here are five novels I recommend.

The Stand by Stephen King

It begans with the accidental release of a human-made superflu that wipes out an estimated 99.4% of the world's population (although the book focuses on the United States). Those who are immune find themselves scattered across the country. They eventually form small groups and are all connected by two recurring dreams: one of a faceless dark man representing evil and one of an old woman representing good. Which dream does each survivor gravitate towards? Which side will they choose? How do they prepare for the inevitable showdown between good and evil? The result of an attempt to write an "American Lord of the Rings", The Stand is considered by many to be King's best work.

Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood

A genetically modified virus wipes out the entire population except for the protagonist and a small group of genetically modified humans. Also among the survivors are transgenic wolvogs (wolf/dog hybrids), rakunks (racoon/skunk) and pigoons (pigs with balloon-shaped bodies bred with extra organs for human transplants). Although most of the story is told in flashbacks to a pre-apocalyptic time, it is the stark contrast of the protagonist's present situation that gives it gravity.

Blindness by Jose Saramago

Presented like the hypothetical question What if everyone suddenly went blind?, this novel breaks its characters down to the bare bones of human nature and instinct. Imagine a pandemic of complete blindess. Who do you turn to if most of the people around you are just as blind and the ones that aren't are too afraid to come near you? How quickly do people resort to utter barbarism? How are those who have contracted the blindness handled by those who still have their sight? If you can get past the lack of structure in the writing style (page-long sentences, sparing use of periods, dialogue not established with quotation marks, etc.), you will find a novel that is bleak, brutal, haunting, beautiful and often enlightening.

A Canticle for Liebowitz by Walter M. Miller, Jr.

Considered one of the classics of science fiction, the story is set in a Roman Catholic monastery in the Utah desert after a worldwide nuclear war. Spanning thousands of years as civilization rebuilds itself, the novel addresses the issues of cyclic history, church versus state and faith versus science.

The Road by Cormac McCarthy

If you're looking for a bleak, heartbreaking Pulitzer Prize-winning novel about a father and a son, look no further because The Road will not disappoint. After an unspecified event has left Earth essentially a barren wasteland with few survivors, a father leads his son across the country on a deserted highway in hopes that if they make it to the sea they might find more people like them. The danger they face is the existence of the cannibalistic nomads roaming the land. Having only each other, the father and son (named only "the man" or "the father" and "the boy" or "the son") find their relationship broken down to the basic love shared by a father and son and their own will to survive.

Want to recommend a apocalyptic/post-apocalyptic novel? State your case in the comments below.

Late to the Party

The Smiths

I’m not going to lie. Until I saw (500) Days of Summer, I had never heard of The Smiths. I had heard of Morissey, but wasn’t familiar with any of his music.

So when Zooey Deschanel leaned over and told Joseph Gordon-Levitt that she recognized the band he was listening to as The Smiths, I immediately had to know who they were and what they sounded like.

I was in for a treat. I put The Very Best of The Smiths into the CD player in my car and didn’t take it out for weeks. While a lot of the lyrics are fairly depressing (see “Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now” and “Girlfriend in a Coma”), the songs are easy to listen to and catchy enough to sing along to. I’m not very adept at describing musical style, so I won’t even try. I just know that I want to thank (500) Days of Summer for introducing me.

Personal Favourites

“Ask”

“The Boy With a Thorn in His Side”

“This Charming Man”

“Girlfriend in a Coma”

“Stop Me If You Think That You’ve Heard This One Before”

Image Credit: Brittanica.com

Linkage

McSweeney’s

A publishing house founded by Dave Eggers (author of A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius and What is the What), McSweeney’s has a sometimes pretentious, often hilarious website.

Highlights:

Open Letters to People or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond

Lists

See my submission to the Lists section here:

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/6fink.html

May I Recommend

Not Eating at 7-11

I work across the street from a 7-11. Sometimes, when I’m still hungry in the early afternoon because I didn’t quite bring enough to eat at lunch, I look out the window and see the 7-11 beckoning me like the Emperor in Return of the Jedi.

7-11: “Give in to your hunger. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant. Soon your journey towards the dark side will be complete!”

Me: “Never. I’ll never turn to the Dark Side!”
(Five minutes later)

Me: “One quarter-pound big bite hot dog on white, please.”

I learned the hard way about the hot wings, nice and dried out after hours under the heat lamp. Once those little assassins reach your stomach, they break out Samuel L. Jackson’s Ezekiel 25:17 speech from Pulp Fiction and “strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger.”

Learn from my mistakes. I recommend not buying your lunch at 7-11. Your digestive system will never forgive you if you do.

Bloggity Blog

Today is Purple Day

Dig through your closet for something purple and wear it today because it's Purple Day!


Started in 2008 by nine-year-old Cassidy Megan of Nova Scotia, Purple Day is an international event that helps raise epilepsy awareness.


Quick fact:


Epilepsy affects approximately 1 in 100 people.


Famous people with epilepsy:


Julius Caesar
Alexander the Great
Napoleon
Joan of Arc
Charles Dickens
Danny Glover
Neil Young
Hugo Weaving
Agatha Christie
Vincent Van Gogh


Official Purple Day Website


Epilepsy Association of Calgary

TV

Lost Season 6 Halftime Report
How Deep Does the Rabbit Hole Go?

Image Credit: ABC Studios

Spoilers ahead (but you knew that already).

It says something when a serialized show that requires so much patience and commitment from its viewers has survived for six seasons in primetime on a major network. And it negotiated an end date ahead of time so it could end the show on its own terms. Aside from the show consistently melting off my face with awesomeness over the years, I can admire what it’s done for television shows. But Lost is not for everyone. Unless you made that commitment and were patient, Lost makes about as much sense to you as this. And for those ardent fans that have been there every step of the way, well, we're still not really sure what's going on. But that's part of the appeal.


More after the jump (click READ MORE below).

Man Crush

RYAN REYNOLDS
Man crush – A heterosexual man admiring another man to an extreme in a non-romantic or sexual way.

You might have a man crush if you are a man and catch yourself thinking these things about another man:

“That guy is awesome.”

“I want to hang out with that guy.”

“I want to be that guy.”

“I want to build a statue of that guy on my front lawn.”

“I want to murder him so I can wear his skin like a suit.” (if your man crushery has gotten this bad, you may need to seek some professional help. Ah, who am I kidding? You're probably fine.)

I have a man crush on Ryan Reynolds. I'll admit it. How cool would it be to...umm...quick-witted...umm...handsome...ummm...I don't have to explain a man crush! That's ridiculous! Leave me alone! 

Let's move on to the evidence for Ryan Reynolds after the jump (click "Read more" below):
Image Credit: Entertainment Weekly

TV

24 Season 8 Halftime Report
Worst. Day. Ever.  8.0

 Spoilers ahead.
 
We're a dozen episodes into the eighth (and final?) season of 24.  After what I felt was a comeback year for the show last season, the 24 gang has come up with some pretty mediocre material so far this time around. When the season started, we saw Jack hanging out with his granddaughter and he actually seemed pretty happy. Man, was that weird. Before long, everything was circling the drain in New York and Kim and her Vampire Diaries boyfriend were sent back to L.A. before they could be attacked by a cougar. Thankfully, it wasn't too long before Jack was teaming up with CTU:NY (how snazzy is that office?) and people were actually listening to him. It feels like I spent way too much of last season screaming at the screen "IT'S JACK BAUER! LISTEN TO HIM! HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING! AAAAAAHHHH!" as I tear my eyeballs out of their sockets.

Agent Hotness, The Hair and Thing 1 and Thing 2 after the jump (click "Read More" below):


Image Credit: 20th Century Fox

SPORTS

March Madness Region by Region Breakdown Based on My Girlfriend’s Bracket

My girlfriend doesn’t really like or follow sports. She likes to play sports but when it comes to analysing and agonizing over professional or amateur teams that don’t directly affect you, she doesn’t see the point. Needless to say, she doesn’t care about college basketball or the March Madness tournament about to get underway. I do, so with this in mind, I got her to fill out a bracket for the second year in a row and explain to me her reasoning behind each pick. I then created a region by region breakdown based on this reasoning.

EAST

STATE OF THE NO. 1: Kentucky

Kentucky squeaks out its first game, but only because it’s shorter to write than East Tennessee State. In the second round, despite John Wall’s best efforts, the Wildcats just can’t overcome the fact that Kentucky Fried Chicken is from Kentucky and it’s gross. That’s not even taking into account their matchup against a tough Wake Forest team powered by the awesomeness of trees.

BRACKETBUSTER: Morgan State

Not an obvious Cinderella pick as a 15-seed but if you look closer, you’ll realize that “state” abbreviated looks like it stands for “street” so Morgan Street reminds you of Sesame Street and honestly, how great was Sesame Street when you were a kid?

SUSPECT TEAM: Wofford

With a name that weird and a logo that ugly, they have a lot to overcome.

JUICIEST MATCHUP: New Mexico vs. Sesame Street (Morgan State)

What makes New Mexico one of the teams to beat in this year’s tournament? Our analyst says it makes her think of the cruise she went on to the country Mexico last year and how great it was. Mexico was also the place where she was afraid of getting kidnapped after she was followed around by a creepy guy in a BMW outside a shopping mall. So New Mexico has that working against them.

GAME BREAKER: Colonel Sanders, Kentucky

It’s unfortunate for Kentucky that one of their own players is going to cost them the tournament but the Colonel’s greasy gut bombs are going to be their ultimate downfall.

THE PRESSURE’S ON: Andy Bernard, Cornell

Last March, the Big Red rode The Office funny man (and Cornell graduate) deep into the tournament and they’re hoping to do so again this year. He’s got his work cut out for him in the first round though as he faces the Temple Owls who have a pretty cool name working in their favour.

THE PICK: Sesame Street (Morgan State)

The inevitable matchup between Wake Forest and Morgan State in the Elite Eight will come down to the basic strengths for each team. In the end, Wake Forest’s trees won’t be able to overcome their lack of mobility to defend Morgan State’s stud center Big Bird. In the words of our expert: “Sesame Street knows what’s up.”

SOUTH, WEST AND MIDWEST BREAKDOWNS AFTER THE JUMP

May I Recommend

Patton Oswalt's Werewolves and Lollipops

May I recommend comedian/actor/writer Patton Oswalt’s 2007 stand-up comedy album? It was funny enough that I listened to it twice.

Highlights:

“America Has Spoken” (Makes fun of KFC’s Famous Bowls)

“The Miracle of Childbirth” (How science can go too far)

“The Dukes of Hazzard” (Bush and Cheney as The Dukes)

Listen. Do it. Do it now.

Wackity schmackity doo!

Bloggity Blog

FIRST BLOG POST EVER.

I started a blog. Look at me go.

Tell your friends (unless the blog sucks).

If you’re going to write a comment, please don’t say “first”.

Here we go…