Nostalgia

Space Jam Soundtrack
Lightning Strikes, The Court Lights Get Dim

I was ten years old when Space Jam came out and like every other kid who liked basketball and movies at that age, I liked it. It wasn't my favorite movie ever, but it had Michael Jordan and it had Bugs Bunny. How could you go wrong? It even had Newman in it, but I didn't know or care about that in 1996.

I watched it again when I was fifteen. Throughout the whole movie, the only thing I could think was Why the hell didn't Michael Jordan win a frickin' Oscar for this? His performance is inspired! It's gritty, honest...okay, seriously, it's an abomination. A piece of plywood would have shown more acting ability than that. Here's the worst part: He was playing himself! He barely had to act at all! I'll throw him a small bone and say it probably wasn't easy talking to animated characters that aren't there. I guess he wasn't really there to act, just to be Michael Jordan. I'm sure if they ever make a sequel, they'll get Daniel Day-Lewis in the lead role. He'd drink the Monstars' milkshakes.

Movie aside, the soundtrack has become an all-time favorite for me. Every few years I revisit it, expecting to like it less than before and every time it surprises me. Maybe it's just nostalgia. Maybe it's because it was one of the first CDs I ever bought. Maybe it's just one of those things that I like because it reminds me of my childhood. Or maybe, just maybe, it's actually a pretty good album. Of course, their are definitely some garbage songs but the good ones more than make up for it.

Click "Read More" to see a track-by-track review.

SPORTS

March Madness Region by Region Breakdown Based on My Girlfriend’s Bracket

My girlfriend doesn’t really like or follow sports. She likes to play sports but when it comes to analysing and agonizing over professional or amateur teams that don’t directly affect you, she doesn’t see the point. Needless to say, she doesn’t care about college basketball or the March Madness tournament about to get underway. I do, so with this in mind, I got her to fill out a bracket for the second year in a row and explain to me her reasoning behind each pick. I then created a region by region breakdown based on this reasoning.

EAST

STATE OF THE NO. 1: Kentucky

Kentucky squeaks out its first game, but only because it’s shorter to write than East Tennessee State. In the second round, despite John Wall’s best efforts, the Wildcats just can’t overcome the fact that Kentucky Fried Chicken is from Kentucky and it’s gross. That’s not even taking into account their matchup against a tough Wake Forest team powered by the awesomeness of trees.

BRACKETBUSTER: Morgan State

Not an obvious Cinderella pick as a 15-seed but if you look closer, you’ll realize that “state” abbreviated looks like it stands for “street” so Morgan Street reminds you of Sesame Street and honestly, how great was Sesame Street when you were a kid?

SUSPECT TEAM: Wofford

With a name that weird and a logo that ugly, they have a lot to overcome.

JUICIEST MATCHUP: New Mexico vs. Sesame Street (Morgan State)

What makes New Mexico one of the teams to beat in this year’s tournament? Our analyst says it makes her think of the cruise she went on to the country Mexico last year and how great it was. Mexico was also the place where she was afraid of getting kidnapped after she was followed around by a creepy guy in a BMW outside a shopping mall. So New Mexico has that working against them.

GAME BREAKER: Colonel Sanders, Kentucky

It’s unfortunate for Kentucky that one of their own players is going to cost them the tournament but the Colonel’s greasy gut bombs are going to be their ultimate downfall.

THE PRESSURE’S ON: Andy Bernard, Cornell

Last March, the Big Red rode The Office funny man (and Cornell graduate) deep into the tournament and they’re hoping to do so again this year. He’s got his work cut out for him in the first round though as he faces the Temple Owls who have a pretty cool name working in their favour.

THE PICK: Sesame Street (Morgan State)

The inevitable matchup between Wake Forest and Morgan State in the Elite Eight will come down to the basic strengths for each team. In the end, Wake Forest’s trees won’t be able to overcome their lack of mobility to defend Morgan State’s stud center Big Bird. In the words of our expert: “Sesame Street knows what’s up.”

SOUTH, WEST AND MIDWEST BREAKDOWNS AFTER THE JUMP